Saturday, July 25, 2009

What do you think? Check out my lyrics?

These are some lyrics I wrote to my brothers and sisters about my mother.



You stole her,



You took her away from me



Before you came, she loved me a lot,



When you were there, she loved me. NOT



She was pregnant with, or caring for,



The rest of you!



I had to pretend to be sick to get her attention



I'd gladly have gone through all the detention



In the world to get her to notice me.



She never saw the love in my eyes,



That so closely resembled her own,



She never saw when I screamed and I cried



All because I felt so alone!



Oh she noticed I was becoming a woman,



but didn't see the child still there,



She said I was pretty but never said she loved me



She was far to busy to braid *my* hair.



And the time she said she'd never cared



I cried all night into my pillow



It felt like my heart had been ripped , teared



Annd I couldn't tell her how I felt



But I'll break away



Some future day,



I'll go and prove I'm good



Maybe then I'll be understood



I'm gonna make her so proud of me.



What do you think? Check out my lyrics?

It is a sad tale...



If that was the feeling that you wanted to portray in your lyrics.. then it is definitely a good set of poetic lyrics. =)



*cries and hugs mom*



edit:



I hope your friend will find resolve in this.



What do you think? Check out my lyrics?

thats a good song pritty sad but it was good :)



What do you think? Check out my lyrics?

its hard to completly critique with out knowing the proper melody



What do you think? Check out my lyrics?

iight Breakdown%26lt;Structure was iight, half of the lines didnt rhyme, kouldnt rlly find a melody through out it. It was a good topic and deep, more like poetry.. Just need to werk on ya writing style. Stay Up



What do you think? Check out my lyrics?

Well, I don't really like it, because, your friend needs to know that ...when new siblings come along, she or he won't always have all the attention.

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